مضل له، و من يضلل فلا هادي له، و أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له كل شئ عنده بمقدار عالم الغيب و الشهادة الكبير المتعال. و أشهد أن نبينا محمد عبد الله و رسوله و صفيه من خلقه و حبيبه، بلغ الرسالة و أدى الأمانة و نصح الأمة و كشف الله تعالى به الغمة و جاهد في سبيل الله حق جهاده حتى اتاه اليقين من ربه. فصلوات ربي و سلامه عليه و على آله و صحابته و الداعين بدعوته و العاملين بسنته بإحسان إلي يوم الدين و سلم اللهم تسليما كثيرا. أما بعد، إخواني في الله و أحبابي في الله Dear Brothers and sisters in Islam, All praises and thanks are due to Alláh, the Lord of all that exists. May the peace and blessings of Alláh be upon Muhammad, the Messenger of Alláh, and his Family and Companions and all who follow them in righteousness until the Day of Judgement. Allah, az w gal, has indicated in his revelation, the Holy Quran, several types of knowledge that humanity can never learn by their own. Allah said in the first verses that were revealed from the Quran: (Taught man that which he knew not) (علم الإنسان ما لم يعلم) (Scroll Down for Video) These types of knowledge include the ones about our passion, our emotions, our instinct and our spirit. All of these intangible items are inside us and we have no knowledge about it, and there is no way we can learn it by ourselves. However, All mighty God has detailed for us all of this knowledge in his revelation. Even the most basic instincts that people were created by, our God has organized it for us. Therefore, Allah has made marriage Halal for us, for women to be preserved by men and for men to be preserved by women. Because Allah has created men with the sexual appeal to women and women with the sexual appeal to men. This is Allah’s instinct in us and it can never be changed. Allah says in (Surat Al Room: Verse 30) (فطرة الله التي فطر الناس عليها لا تبديل لخلق الله). (Allah’s handiwork according to the pattern on which He has made mankind: no change in the work by Allah.) So Allah has created the woman from man’s rib to be a rest for him, to be a partner for him, to be a mother for his children, to be a grandmother for his grandchildren. As for men, they were ordered by Allah to treat women with kindness and equity. Allah says in (Surat Annisa’: Verse 19) (و عاشروهن بالمعروف). (Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity) So brothers and sisters of Islam, our religion is much deeper than we consider it to be. Our religion is not just some rituals we do in a particular time, like praying 5 times a day, or fasting one month of the year, or paying a certain amount of money every year, or visiting once in a lifetime a bunch of stones put together and called AlKa’bah. Our religion is a constitution for muslims that organizes every aspect of their life whether significant or not. That is why all of the emotional, psychological and spiritual problems that can occur to us in our lives have been detailed and taken into consideration by Allah in all of commands to us. Even the mating itself between men and women, Allah has organized it for us. Allah says in (Suraat AlBaqarah: Verse 222) (فإذا تطهرن فأتوهن من حيث أمركم الله) (when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah) So All mighty God has specified for us all the details concerning this topic, where to mate and when to mate and when not to mate. All of these details have been mentioned. Yes brothers and sisters, even the tiniest details in our lives, Allah has organized them for us in his revelation. Especially, the relationship between men and women, Allah has set for us all the rules, provisions and ethics in this relationship because a man and a woman are the main pillars of any muslim family. However, many muslims do not discuss these issues out of shyness. But the truth is that these issues are part of our religion and God’s revelation to us. Dear Brothers and sisters, Allah says in (Suraat AlBaqarah, Verse 223) (نِسَآؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُواْ حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ) (Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will) In this Verse, Allah subhanah w ta’ala has resembled our wives by the soil’s tilth, which is a physical condition of the soil indicating that it is suitable for planting the best trees and growing the best fruit. In this verse there is a guide for every unmarried muslim who is seeking a wife that his purpose of marriage should not be the pleasure only. However, our purpose should be to generate a generation that worships All mighty God. The main purpose of marriage is to generate a generation that obeys its creator by being committed to his commands and avoiding his prohibitions. So brothers and sisters this is the main purpose of marriage in Islam and this is how our prophet’s companions understood it. It was reported that Omar Ibn ElKhattab said (لو علمت لو أن في عمري 10 أيام باقية لتزوجت فيها من أجل الولد) (If I Knew that I had 10 days left in my life, I would have married to have a child.) Moreover, Omar teaches us the grace of children in another Hadith where it was reported that Omar said that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) taught them that (أن من رزق بشيئ من الأولاد فهم خير كلهم، من مات منهم دون الحنث جاء يوم القيامة طائرا بجناحيه يذب النار عن أبويه، و من عاش منهم و على الحق رباه أبوه، لا يأتي من الخير طاعة، إلا و له أجره و لأبيه مثله) (Whoever was blessed with children, they are all good. Of whom dies before puberty, shall come on Judgement day flying with wings and protecting his partents from Hell. And of whom lives and was raised to be righteous by his father, then his father shall be rewarded for every good deed done by him.) In this Hadith, there is a very important remark to be noticed. If a parent raises his/her child to be a righteous muslim, then all the child’s Hasanat will be duplicated and granted to this parent. Therefore, in your life-time you gain Hasanat and Saye’at of your own. But from your righteous child, you gain Hasanat and no Saye’at. So which is more beneficial to you? Moreover, this remark has been mentioned implicitly in the Holy Quran. Allah says in (Suraat AlTuur, Verse 21) )وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَاتَّبَعَتْهُمْ ذُرِّيَّتُهُم بِإِيمَانٍ أَلْحَقْنَا بِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ ( (And those who believe and whose families follow them in Faith,- to them shall We join their families) So the Verse mentioned how a faithful family is placed in Heaven. The questions is here that what if a child is more faithful and more righteous than his parent, why did Allah only say (to them shall We join their families) why didn’t Allah complete this verse by saying (or to their families We shall join them)? Because… this will never happen with a faithful parent and a faithful child. No matter how righteous the child becomes, all of the child’s Hasanat are duplicated to the parent, and in addition to the parent’s own Hasanat, then the advancement will always be for the parent. Therefore, the parent’s stage in Heaven will always be higher than all of his children’s. And as an honoring for the parent, Allah subhanah w ta’ala makes the faithful children join their father in Heaven. So Brothers and sisters we must all be aware of this truth. A child is always of benefit to his parents. That is why the Sahabah aimed for having children and pursed that. It was reported that the mother of Anas Ibn Malik asked it explicitly from Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ). It was reported that Um Sulaim said to the Prophet (ﷺ) أَنَسٌ خَادِمُكَ فادع الله له. فقالَ ﷺ " اللَّهُمَّ أَكْثِرْ مَالَهُ وَوَلَدَهُ، وَبَارِكْ لَهُ فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَهُ ". "Anas is your servant. Appeal to Allah for him" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "O Allah! increase his wealth and offspring, and bless (for him) whatever you give him." So Anas lived 120 years, in which he was blessed with 100 children of his own. And Not Anas Ibn Malik alone, two other Sahabah were blessed by 100 children: (Abo Bakrah) and (Ibn Badr) each one had 100 children of his own, not grandchildren. Also Khalid Ibn AlWalid, in the Battle of Yarmouk, had 40 of his offsprings attending this battle and fighting the romans. And these were not all of his offsprings. 40 soldiers fighting side by side with their father…. Brohers and Sisters in Islam… So far we have seen how important marriage is for a muslim and how important it is to have faithful offsprings that worship Allah and how did prophet Muhammad’s companions value these issues. However, it is not something to marvel that a man can withstand raising this huge number of children. The real amazement is the wives of the Sahabah that withstood this huge burden. Because for a woman to have patience with her husband while raising and giving birth to 20/30 child, if she was not treated with kindness and equity from her husband, she could have never done it.The most influential bond between a man and his wife is good moralities. It was reported that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said (لن تسعوا الناس بأموالكم، و لكن يسعهم منكم بسط الوجه و حسن الخلق) (You cannot satisfy people with your wealth, but satisfy them with your cheerful faces and good morals.”) Moreover, it was reported that one of the Sahabah, Abdullah ibn El-Haarith, said : )مَا رَأَيْتُ أَحَدًا أَكْثَرَ تَبَسُّمًا مِنْ رَسُولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم( (I did not see anyone who smiled more than Rasoolullah sallallahu alaihe wasallam.) Salla Allaho Alayhi Wa Sallam, so dear brothers this is our prophet. This is how Allah’s messenger looked like, always smiling, no matter how hurt he was, he was always smiling. He also says in another Hadith: (لاَ يَحْقِرَنَّ أَحَدُكُمْ شَيْئًا مِنَ الْمَعْرُوفِ وَإِنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَلْيَلْقَ أَخَاهُ بِوَجْهٍ طَلِيقٍ) (Let one of you not consider any good to be insignificant. If he has nothing, then let him meet his brother with a smiling face.) And if this is how we should treat our brothers in islam, then we should treat our wives like this…………………in the first place. Dear brothers and sisters in islam, I say this and ask Alláh Az w Gal for forgiveness for me, you and all Muslims for every sin. Invoke Him for forgiveness, for He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful. ………………………………………………………………………………………………… الحمد لله وحده و الصلاة و السلام على من لا نبي بعده، محمد صلى الله عليه و سلم و على آله و صحبه أجمعين. أما بعد، It is a real pity nowadays how muslim men treat women. It is even more pitiful how muslim men treat their own wives. In Islam it is the duty of men to always smile in the face of their wives. It is the duty of men to treat their wives with dignity, kindness and love. Allah says: (نسائكم حرث لكم). (Your wives are as a tilth unto you) Through this tilth you will get the best fruit, the best offsprings that worship Allah and follow his last messenger. If you are not married till now, then you should search for a righteous muslim woman that is fit to raise your children. And if you are married, then you should create for your wife the best environment to help her raise your children. Many muslims nowadays mistreat their wives at home, and if a muslim cannot provide the peaceful environment for his wife to live in and be happy, then this family sooner or later will be ruined. This family sooner or later will be destroyed. Yes brothers and sisters, many of the family problems that muslims suffer today is due to the mistreatment between men and women and the lack of emotions between them. And if this is the case, then women start to devise any excuse to get divorce. It was reported that a woman came to Omar Ibn el Khattab during his ruling era and asked him to force her husband to divorce her. So Omar asked her, why? She replied: if you saw him you will know why? So Omar summoned the man and when he came he found that he was shaggy, full of dust, with dirty clothes. So when Omar saw his appearance, he ordered his servants to wash the man, tidy his hair and buy him new clean clothes and then he summoned his wife again. And asked her, are you satisfied with him this way? So the woman was shy and she said that she accepts whatever satisfies Amir AlMu’meneen. So Omar looked to her husband and told him I never want to see you again except in this form. Except in this appearance. Yes brothers and sisters, the appearance of a man or woman can be a reason for the destruction of a muslim family. Especially that many men neglect these issues and give them low priority in their lives. It was reported that Abdullah Ibn Abbas, said: (و الله إني لأحب أن أتزين لإمرأتي كما أحبها أن تتزين لي) (I swear that I love to spruce myself for my wife just like I love her to spruce up for me.) So just like it is a duty for women, it is also a duty for men to neat up for their wives with the best clothes, the best perfumes and the best appearance. Dear brothers and sisters in Islam, our families is our responsibility. It is our duty to protect them and do everything possible that guarantees a faithful peaceful environment for our children to be raised in. Our beloved prophet ﷺ said " كفى بالمرء إثمًا أن يضيع من يقوت" (It is enough sin for a person to neglect one's own dependents) He also says: (كلكم راعٍ، وكلكم مسئول عن رعيته، والرجل راعٍ على أهل بيته؛ والمرأة راعية على بيت زوجها وولده، فكلكم راعٍ، وكلكم مسؤول عن رعيته") (All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.Tthe man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.)
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